Misunderstood

Self

So close your eyes but don’t dream too deep, and pass me on some memories. When I fall, you’re underneath. A thousand broken hearts, carried by a thousand broken wings.

I’ll try my hardest to swallow my pride

& forget about anything that made me feel numb.

I have that feeling right in my gut

that makes me shake & hold my eyes shut

with sweat full of guilt dripping down my pale face

& my white lips trembling, trying to speak words of disgrace.

My head is spinning, my vision is blurred.

I’m trying to explain but my words are slurred.

I can hear my heart beat slowing down in my ears;

death feels so close, so soon, so near.

I’m ending, I’m broken, I’m falling apart at the seams.

“This is it” I say  to myself,

& give up all my strength to become weak.

I’m intoxicated on something that almost feels lethal,

& where do I go from here?

My big, wired, bloodshot eyes

show signs of hurt & a lifetine of lies.

As my reflection stares back at me, I realized my fate.

I’m lucky I’m alive

so I lay here

inhale, exhale, & shake.

Almost the end of me.

The last thing I see is feeling.

Sanity.